You woke up raring and ready to go, rolled over and nudged your
favorite girl awake. With morning sex being one of you (and your girlfriend’s)
favorite times to get it on, you both quickly got into motion, though sleepy,
and the warm sensations and natural lubrication was just what you needed to
prepare for the 10 a.m. staff meeting you are leading. As you are pumping
along, that dreaded sound that you have definitely heard before — and hate to
hear again — makes it way from your lady and do all that you can to hold back
your reaction.
In
addition to you trying to fight back your own laugher or confusion when this
happens, imagine what your girlfriend is going through: She could be
embarrassed and maybe even ashamed so much that she can’t reach orgasm. That’s no fun for either of
you, but there’s good news: Understanding what queefing is, how to deal with it
and how to discuss it can make those morning sex sessions less awkward if an
unexpected sound makes it way from down there.
Here’s
what you need to know about queefing:
1. What Is Queefing?
Though
often confused with flatulence (aka — passing gas), queefing does not come
from your girlfriend’s rear end, but her lady bits instead. “Queefing is a very
normal, natural thing that happens to someone with a vagina where some air
become strapped in the vaginal canal, and then is expelled, often making a
funny sound that is similar to a fart,” sexual instructor and expert, and
manager of operations at Self-Serve Toys, Hunter
Riley says. and
outreach at There typically isn't a smell associated with queefing, just
a noise and probably some giggles and maybe feelings of embarrassment.”
You
might also find an even more outrageous (if you can believe it) name for
queefing, according to sex expert Coleen Singer.
She says it is nicknamed ‘pussy farts’ for obvious reasons. “The vagina isn’t a
straight tube and has folds called rugae that are like wrinkles. it is very
natural when having sex for air getting trapped there which then escapes in a
sometimes dramatic manner,” she explains.
2. How Did 'Queef’ Get Its Name?
Though
‘queef’ definitely sounds like something straight out of CollegeHumor, Saturday
Night Live or the
result of an intense stoner rager, it is origins actually date all the way back
to the 1600s. The actual definition of "queef" was in the Oxford
English Dictionary in 1617, meaning ‘an inhalation of tobacco smoke.’ However,
fast forward fifty years in 1686, and a new word, one vowel away from queef,
‘quiffing’ was defined as ‘sexual intercourse, esp. had with or by a
prostitute.’ With no particular reason, queefing grew to become a negative term
for women and one that was backed with humility and hate. While ‘queef’ is now
mainly a slang term for vaginal flatulence, it still isn’t widely accepted as
something to talk about with your partner.
In
popular culture, South Park dedicated a whole episode in their
13th season to queefing, appropriately titled "Eat, Pray,
Queef." Aired on Comedy Central on April Fool’s Day in 2009 (see
where they are going here?), the male characters of South
Park were angry that
a show about queefing, The Queef Sisters, had
replaced their favorite show, Terrance and Phillip. They are grossed out by queefing,
saying that vaginas aren't funny "because babies come from
there," and therefore, queefing can’t be funny. Eventually they take
it all the way to South Park’s version of the Supreme Court — the Colorado General
Assembly — to try and ban "queefing" jokes. This of course,
leads to an argument over the bias between men and women, on who is allowed to
pass air or gas, and why they get judged differently for them. It ends with an
ode to the queef and the guys coming around to support women and ahem, their
right to queef as they wish.
While
you might not want to throw a parade or burst into song to celebrate your
girlfriend’s proudest queefing moments, it is a good point to take: Queefing is
part of your partner’s body that you love so much, and therefore, should be
loved for everything it produces.
3. Is Queefing Normal?
The
short answer and the long answer: yes, yes, yes. Similar to other bodily
functions that are out of our control, caused by foods we consume or downing a
beer and a burger too quickly, a queef is in the same family as a burp and yes,
of course, a fart.
“Queefs
happen, and they often happen during sex because the positions and activities
we find ourselves in are likely to help air pockets get trapped in the vaginal
canal,” Riley explains. Lots of people get embarrassed when their bodies make
unexpected sounds during sex, but the nicest thing you can for your partner in
that moment is reassure them that there is nothing to be embarrassed about, and
move on.”
Riley
estimates that every sexually active woman will likely queef at least once in
her life and does not indicate anything dangerous or wrong with her biological
sexual function or abilities. As Singer explains, the reason queefing happens
is because air does not belong in the vaginal canal, and like the strong,
fascinating organ that it is, the vagina will literally thrust it out to keep
her healthy. If you are worried about it, it is important to consider that
certain sex positions make a queef experience more likely to
happen. “The most common position that results in a queef is “doggy style” as
this one tends to open the vagina up in a way that significantly more air is
drawn in as the penis thrusts in and out,” Singer notes.
In
addition to positions, there are other sexual acts and movements that can make
a queef incident more likely. Any time your girlfriend is bent over or upside
down, air has a better chance of getting trapped inside of her, especially when
you’re taking time between thrusts to get the position just right for the both
of you. Speaking of thrusting, if you grind instead of pump, you will also
lower the opportunity for a queef to make its boisterous debut, because your
penis isn’t coming in and out rapidly, but rather, hitting her G-spot directly over time. And if you can
manage to do it, going very slow makes a queef less likely, too, since you
aren’t vigorously moving between positions, oral sex, making out and going at
each other as hard as you can.
The
moral of the story though? Let the queef go. You can handle it. Have sex how
you both enjoy.
4. Can Men Queef?
Luckily
for you, your own body prevents you from producing a queef. “Queefing is
typically associated with people with vaginas, so if a man has a vaginas he can
certainly queef. But other than that, no,” Riley says.
However,
while you are off the hook for the infamous queef, keep in mind that a man can
produce air from his anus that isn’t designated as a ‘fart’ and instead, is a
result of some more risque and experimental behavior in the bedroom. As Singer
explains, “Queefing specifically refers to air being expelled from the vagina
and most men do not come equipped with one of those. However, men can expel air
from their anus after anal sex and pegging which is also a natural event that
shouldn’t cause worry.”
5. What Are Some Misconceptions About
Queefing?
The
reason that a simple queef can kill your mojo and get your girl to doubt
herself is because so many people - men and women alike — associate queefing with
it is sister sound, the fart, and find the act to be dirty. “Some people think
queefs smell, or they can confuse them with a fart, especially if it happens
during sex. Most queefs do not smell like anything either, so that is an
additional way to distinguish them,” Riley says. “Queefs are most like forced
burping; if you have ever tried to make yourself burp you know that full
feeling of having air trapped,and then the feeling when it is released.”
And
as Singer adds, a queef does not pose any threat to contamination or a bodily
function release: “A queef does not have any bacteria or any of the other
causes of rectal farts,” she promises.
6. How Do You Talk To Your Partner About
Queefing?
So
she queefed, shrug it off and let your sex continue without skipping a beat, a
thrust or an orgasm. Singer suggests “to simply laugh it off with your partner.
It is rather funny, after all!” And Riley adds one last fair point: since you
put the air up there, it is part your responsibility too, so do not make your
gal feel bad for it. After all, it just means you were both enjoying yourself
so much that you didn’t notice anything at all… right?